Love
Love is natural and real.
It can appear as an upfront topic to discuss, but with the large misunderstanding we are influenced upon what love is can become a vague subject as there are many topics around Love.
There are many types of love and some I may not have a grasp on as well as I would like to think. I have always felt a general sense of love and caring for those I have grown up with in my community. But the ideal of romantic love is a bit relative to a person and normally changes with a persons experience, such as it has for me.
My views on love have changed over the years, of course, but with love being relative does that mean it was not real or valid for that time? With love having a wide range of categories this post might get to be all over the place 😅. Either way, I will try to stay focused as there are always other opportunities to expand on such a vast complex emotion.
Romantic love for me happened in my early adolescence around the time I was in preschool. The director of the school, Mrs. Patty, had to make a call to my parents (something she would have to do often), in this case it was due to me sneaking out of my nap cot to join my crush in her cot to snuggle and nap. There were two girls who had a crush on me and I remember being smitten by the affection.
Later on I remember having feelings for one of the counselors at Klassic Kids (for those not familiar with this place, it is an after-school program for kids who could not go straight home as their parents were working). Counselor Amy, she was very understanding and upon her last day she gifted me a rose quarts crystal she had worn. Was this really a love love? It was definitely affection and I have no idea where it stemmed from.
No, my affections were from a pure place as it was mainly stemmed from me just wanting to spend time or be around them. As for Jr. High and High School relationships, there were very few. Dating at that time almost felt like peer pressure and rushed. To the point there was barely time for general decisions. I was more into getting to know people at a deeper level than just basic school talk or what have you, on the premise to create stronger friendships, not to form romantic relationships.
I really did not feel like my self at school a lot of the times due to this yearning for deep connection and at times it was confused for romantic pursuance. So I felt it was a bit tougher to make a genuine connection. I am not saying I didn’t have any crushes, I guess in High School I really fixated on someone and kind of continued “floating” through the experience while I was there and may have felt that time and place did not line up for romantic love. I did not feel I had an attractive quality to others to consider myself “worthy” of really being in a relationship, not really till after high school.
As for today? Romantic love has been an incredible experience. I have the most determined and loving partner. Jessie does her utmost at finding herself and working on her traumas and I continue to work with her and in doing so have reflected on my own traumas to help each other flourish. I know love is not a 50/50 trade, as it rarely is, It is about communication and understanding, and expressing to your partner as you go through changes so they continue to understand.
People change as they get older, especially when couples get together so young. I use to think it was as simple as “never go to bed angry.” When in fact sometimes you must. Sometimes a person needs more time to reflect on relationship-building crossroads and its okay to take some time to think about as long as the extended time needed is expressed to your partner. I would never want to rush a solution with Jessie, and I would expect that in return for me.
She asked me after a year of dating “why me” and I knew in my heart why, but I paused for a moment to think. Would I really want to express that to her? Would she understand? I shook it off and told myself, of course she would and she would know why. I told her what I know to be true in my heart and that was, I felt I have been with her before. That Her and I have been in a relationship before in a past life as she just felt so familiar.
It is true, I felt I have known her presence, that we have been with each other and it was not some cheesy line. In Her presence, I felt like I could be myself, I could simply lay all my cards on the table effortlessly and that I have before, with her.
Now if you don’t believe in psychics or intuitive people, I do. A very dear Intuitive friend had expressed to me this very feeling without any previous mention. She explained Jessie and I have been with each other on 4 other lives. That we always find each other around the same age for the same reasons. I take that to heart because I had felt this way, deeply.
Everything with Jessie had been a rewarding and growing experience. Sure we have had arguments, and you can safely assume as a reader that we have had bumpy patches in our relationship together. But I am talking about a love so powerful I will be damn sure it continues to echo through the ages to come.
My love for her is so natural and real that I know never to rush anything and to play the beat of our relationship to a tune we can both groove to and to watch her tempo change, I have learned to switch up with her. Love is a flowing and changing energy and I have the patience to always study its course.
With today’s course, I feel many are trapped in a sense of confusing love for lust. They say you will know when you find your love. Your heart will race, your words will stutter, you begin to vibrate. Now in my opinion, that means someone is giving off more energy than the other and that that is a place of lust and not love.
Confusing the force of Love is a part of the human learning experience. I believe that there are two forms of love. Love the Force, and Love the Binding.
Love the Force is a sense of oneness. It is what some describe as a religious experience. It is that feeling of protection when you are so aligned with your higher self and you feel like Harry in “Half-blood Prince” when he takes the Felix Felicis potion. In that I mean the flow of following your first intuition and not the secondary voice of doubt and fear. It can very much feel like the universe is working with you, and you with it.
Love the Binding is the real emotion one can feel of love for another. It sounds possessive, which love is not! Possessiveness, jealousy, control all come from ones Ego. Love the binding is that natural connection one floats to that puts people together. It almost feels effortless as the relationship builds.
I believe that in the past, my soul and my partner's soul have combined Love the Force and Love the Binding to have our souls meet in each life. Events and situations will always push our souls to meet and help each other grow and create a generational wealth of spirituality.
Love should not be forced. Love should not be bitter. Love should not be jealous. Love is communication, love is understanding. Love is bigger than you and I, so much so that I believe it can exist on into other lifetimes. Love is natural, love is real.