Me, Myself, & I (Friends)

Let’s get to know me, the next few posts will be titled Me, Myself, & I and a subject. I like to stay a bit organized like that I suppose. Since there is a lot to discuss on what made me the person I am today, I rather keep the subject of a blog post focused and not have too much for everyone to take in at once. Also, we can always expand on topics on what is discussed later on, however at my current age of 29, I would say I have experienced a lot emotionally. I am going to dive in on what made me more of the person I am today. First and foremost topic would have to be my friends. But let us talk about my parents a bit before we get to my friends. When I was born in June of 92, my mom and dad had a nice little home in San Diego. Conversations were had I am sure between them and the discussion of more space must have been had. So, they began their journey to look at homes elsewhere in the community. They looked at 116 homes when they thought they had found the one. 116 homes in a part of town on the other side of where I grew up. It was getting time to take a closer look at actually getting that house, when they ran into some…discrepancies. Once they were sorted, they were off to looking at homes once more. This time the count landed on 418 homes. Four hundred eighteen homes to find one of my childhood homes (not wealthy, parents divorced) that would shape my life and make me the person I am today. This home, the Zapata home, made me a part of a group of guys and a Sandburg Tiger for the rest of my days. It is okay you do not know what I mean by being a Sandburg Tiger, and that’s okay! As I stated before, we can expand on topics in other discussions. If it was not for the constant pursuit of a home in my parents' standards and that issue with the first home, I would have never ended up at the Zapata home and met Mike, Vincent, Adrian, Jovic, and Dao.

Mike:

I have always been comfortable being in my own mind/ headspace. Even as a child I suppose that’s why I had an imaginary friend named Michael. I had a dream as a child, that I was at my backyard neighbors home and I was sitting in a hallway playing with Legos. The doorbell rings and an all white figure walks in and gives me a head nod and keeps walking. I remember it so vividly and it has stuck with me since. Anyways, this neighbor, our yards were connected via a large canyon in my backyard, so sometimes I would just go over when I heard others playing. Some days I’d sit in my room and play with my imaginary friend named Michael. I found myself at my backyard neighbors house one afternoon. I sat down in the hallway and began to play with Legos. I hear a doorbell ring and the mother goes to answer the door. I remember thinking to myself this feels familiar. In walks a boy. Tanned skin, Filipino split bang bowl cut and he looks over at me and gives me a nod up. I remember I quickly dropped my legos to go spy and the boy was only there for a little bit and soon left out the front door. I have never seen a child walk around town by themselves before. I was very amused. Days, maybe weeks…shoot, maybe even months passed but I do not remember the season, and I was not in kindergarten yet, I just remember the day being dry. I was playing and I heard a CLINK sound coming from the back yard. I go outside with my older sister, Kaiya, and look at the pool. I hear the CLINK once more and I turn to the left towards the Canyon Deck my uncle built. I hear the CLINK continue and we realize it is coming from the canyon, but on the side of my back neighbors’. I go down the ramp and I see my neighbor and that boy again! The boy is hitting a rock with a pick axe trying to make sparks…Now I know that’s not the smartest thing to do in dry weather but…dude…fuckin’ sparks okay? My back yard neighbor seemed…unenthused as me and the boy began talking. Soon the neighbor left and my sister as well as it was hot and dry. The boy was panting from all the work of ya know tryna cause a canyon wide fire in Southern California. I asked if he was thirsty and that he could come over and have a drink. He agreed and we exchanged names. I said I am Ian and he said “Oh I am Michael ''. I took my new friend Michael up the deck ramp way and through my yard into my kitchen and had him sit at the counter. I go to my parents room and say, Hey Mom can you get me a drink for me and my friend Michael. At this point my mom is in the know of my IMAGINARY friend Michael, but not this new found friend Michael. She says she’d be happy to and makes her way to the kitchen to Surprise! A real boy named Michael! We have our drink, he thanks me, and goes through the back yard, through the canyon, through my backyard neighbors home and all the way back to his house. Some time passes and School does begin for me, Kindergarten. My older sister, Kaiya, was entering 2nd grade. And in that grade they start making you sell Cookie dough for prizes (sometimes frozen pizzas). Kaiya was so enthused she wanted to start selling as soon as possible. So she decided to sell in the neighborhood and walk from door to door, of course I wanted to go and explore with her! We walk out of our home and head to the left. First home, so exciting! We knock at the door and who answers? Michael. My new found friend I had not seen since lives right next door to me! Mike has been a foil to my ADHD fueled brain staying calm with any given news. I laugh as I realize later, Mike had taken the long way home that day in the canyon by going through my backyard and all the way around the neighborhood just to end up at his front door that day. This is how I met him and that is how I will remember him. Mike has taught me how to read a room, how to have tact, what to say when to say it.

Adrian & Jovic:

Jovic had a brother.  But in my youth I was always closer to Jovic. This is due to the incident of being ditched by my friends in 1st grade at lunch time. I walk out and the tables are full and they are avoiding eye contact with me. I knew what was going on and I decided to just stand there with my lunch tray. Frustrated and hating myself for not understanding why, I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder. The quickly says,

“Hey, No one to sit with, huh? Come join me!”

I agree of course and I feel the warmth of what it means to have humanity as a young child. We sit and we introduce ourselves. He tells me his name is Jovic and he asks me what’s going on, who I am, what grade. He is happy to be my friend in such an age gap of two years and I tell him where I live. He says he knows the house and says he lives close by. He invites me to go over on the weekend and we can play then, he tells me not to worry about others and that I should look forward to the weekend. A day passes and the weekend is finally here! I get so excited I do not even bother knocking on Mike’s door. Sometimes he’d be nowhere to be found, so I would not take the chance of inviting him even though I was still nervous. I go to Jovic’s house with the address he provided, down a few houses and turn the street to the loooong road cul de sac and see his home. I knock on the door and his mother answers. I hear rough housing upstairs and three heads pop up. Jovic, his older brother Adrian, and Mike!… So this is where he goes from time to time! I take off my shoes and run upstairs and we begin to play Golden Eye. Now Adrian was a friend at first by association. Adrian and Mike were the same age being three years older and Jovic was 2 years older than I. It took a little bit longer to warm up to Adrian but that was on me. Adrian was always flashy with style. Clothes, music, his image in general was unique on how he always had his hair.  But the Brothers soon moved away when I got a bit older and seeing them became more and more less likely. I keep up with Adrian more so than Jovic as he is harder to locate and get a hold of. I run into them in random places still and I am always happy to catch up where we had left off. Jovic has taught me that it is okay to give a little kindness in this world, to take a chance on someone and make sure to help them see the light of the day, Adrian taught me much of music, introducing me to a wide range of genres and how to make an effective CD mix ( too funny).

Vin:

I know you will be reading this Vin and I can see you laughing now at its sheer truth. Simply put, for the first few years of Vin and mine’s friendship, we hated each other. It may be due in part that we wanted Mike’s attention and Vin was a snot nosed royal asshole of a bully. I was intimidated by him. He was frightening to see walking down the sidewalk of Zapata. He was loud, abrasive, forceful, and took things too far. Of course we got along after awhile when I was around 8 and he was 11 but Vin and mine's journey of real friendship began when Mike took a trip to the Philippines for the summer in 04’. Me at age 12, Vin at age 15. With Mike gone for the summer, Adrian and Jovic being long gone moved away. In our boredom, Vin and I found each other on the street outside my house. He had asked if I wanted to hang out. I said yes. The day progressed and I realized alone, Vin is an amazing friend. I did not want the day to end so I asked him to spend the night. He got all giddy I am sure, and he went home to go grab a few things. Something had happened and his mom ended up saying no. I remember him calling me back after so long of a wait that I had almost given up hope of him returning. This of course was probably only an hour's wait but being 12 my world and concept of time is only so big. He finally convinced his mom or snuck out…I was never clear on what happened but he ended up staying the night. I remember us finally going to bed, Me on the top bunk, Vin excited to be on the large bottom bunk, he began singing songs. And I remember being amazed at alllll the lyrics he could remember! So of course I start naming song titles and he’d begin singing. Impressed with his music ability and genre, Him and I began to form a bond off Music and funny enough, Manga. I remember saying something on the lines of  ‘I am happy Mike is in the Philippines, Vinny, and happy we got closer today.’ Vin was always around, he was always showing up and truth be told, he was always helping out when it was needed. Vin taught me that communication is of the utmost importance. He may not have taught me directly, but I witnessed many of his conflicts due to a lack of miscommunication.

Dao:

Dao, Dao, Dao…Well here we go. With Mike and Vin getting involved with a gang, it left me some time alone when they got a bit older. Quite often they would bring me around to the mall or the bowling alley or at the local boba shop to kick it and meet the boys. I have to admit I was intrigued with the bond and the mentality but it was a big homie, one of the only white boys in an all Asian gang, who took me to the side when I was around 13 and told me,

“Hey, I just want to tell you, it’s okay to kick it, ya know? You can be around us and hang out and not be us, be you.'“

Chubs, I love you, bud. Thank you for that. I have told you to your face and I will have it written here. Thank you for those words I know you preached to many others in our generations. You are a good man. But Dao… we will get to soon. With Mike and Vin, they were involved with their own self image for a good time and did not want to bring me around. In my youth  I stated I was always comfortable with being in my own head. I was very comfortable talking things out with myself and exploring my own mind and being creative. I was very comfortable with Ian on the inside, but not outside. It’s not till I met my gemini twin Dao. Summer of 06’ Vin knocks on my door to ask if he can kick it. He was skating all day and I knew he wanted something to drink so of course ima let him in. But there was a catch. Some other dude is with him and he’s asking if he can come in as well. I look the guy up and down and I see him jump on his board and it quickly slips from under him and he falls right on his ass. I chuckle and say yeah man come in. I did not know that Dao would be my brother and he'll be living with me soon enough. But this is the man that wanted me included in the world, the man that taught me how to express myself outwardly into the world and I owe it all to his guidance. He was most definitely the guy to help me find my confidence. With Dao being in and out of juvie, we would miss him a lot. Dao really taught me patience and to not always show your hand in certain situations. When he WAS out though? It was quite the party. He soon found his way living with me in my Sophomore year of high school and we bonded quickly. We had many of the same interests, he taught me to look at things another way such as in life, board games, video games. We even have the same birthday, with him being two years older.

With much more love and support to come, please do not worry if you were not discussed here, my friends. You know who you are and you will be discussed. Perhaps I bit off more than I could chew on this one, and there is so much to discuss on the topic of friends and keeping it short, but my friends are important to me and they really do influence me and help me along the way. We can definitely touch more on this subject, but for now. I leave you here with this. Small circle? Large Circle? It doesn’t matter, the quality of friends matter and the quality and quantity I have been fortunate enough to bond with is unreal and it is one of the things that makes me smile most. I love you guys and hopefully get to see you all soon.